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where the swimming pool has its own rules

There you go with your costume, your slip, your Bermuda shorts, goggles and headphones, cold / shower due to prior emergency / y jump in the tub.
and ruin my swim.
to avoid anything and, therefore, prevent me - in a day of humor in his shoes like this: 1. you pull your feet "by mistake", 2. will exceed many times, producing waves of water that will make you swallow gallons of chlorine, 3. I swear after listing all the saints in paradise, there are rules you can follow, and we guarantee you will swim a relaxing, enjoyable and fun.
today I feel so good that you briefly explain the:

1. usually in pools as it must, during the hours of free swimming lanes are divided by speed (slow swimming and / or tablet, regular swimming, fast swimming) : Be honest with yourself. if you can not take a bath with 10-12 strokes of style, The fast lane is not for you;
2. please, please, please, I speak to you from male white briefs and yellow cap, I know that you have to prove to all the women in the pool but do not dip your manhood by board tank landing with an (almost certain) belly flop and risking to crash on the idiot who had not noticed to be in tub with the world champion of acrobatic dives;
3. costumes: white ones are transparent. you can see your ass, men, and breasts, women. use them with knowledge of the facts;
4. water too - oddly enough - is transparent. what you do, touch, move in water is seen
5. there is a beautiful phrase that Ossie Davis ruling in get on the bus and says more or less than when you play an instrument you have to do it as if we love doing. also applies to the pool water: no slapping, no lifting of hectoliters of water. kindness, by the pool, it is essential;
6. women, I tell you, I know you love chatting with friends as they go, but there is a pool of children, just for you: more empty, more comfortable, with water more hot. for everything else there is a sofa in your home;
7. women, I always say to you: swimming involves being in a horizontal position. The style dog does not count, once exceeded 5 years, and has not even the style walk in the water hoping to get to end tank;
8. the dolphin is an elegant style. if you really knew. and do it well are few (I do not, for example). then, as in step 1: Be honest with yourself, and unless you really know how to move browning, avoid doing the dolphin and get knackered after half bath filled with handfuls of your classmates;
9. men, I understand that you have prove that you are the capibranco: resign but, if a woman goes faster than you do not become attached to their feet to show that you know keep up;
10. as the distances to be kept, how it works in the car: I assume that if you go to 5cm I do this by car? , but if not then you incazzatevi get a foot in the face. in this use common sense: lots and then wait for 5 strokes, too.

contrary to what you might think after reading this handbook, are not an intolerant person.
use the fast lane when I'm in shape, those on the boards when I use the tablets and if I wake up with your ass in the pool do not go heavy.
become intolerant when, as today, an Adonis with mp3 player and headphones glued to the goggle ultraprofessionali touches a hair on my spine in a turn to show off the tank bottom.
in swimming, as in life, it requires delicacy, along with the awareness that we are not at the center of the world to anyone else. if not yours.